1996 and 1997 Swap Sheet Ads

I ALMOST STARVED working as a stand-up science comic. Science just isn't that funny. It's tough to put a funny spin on angular momentum. You can make the obvious joke about the Ideal Gas Law; but what can you say after you have talked about the Ideal Bean? I was just about to quit. Then I discovered the Theory of Evolution. Now the jokes just write themselves. The tough part is keeping a straight face. How can you describe how a cow evolved into a whale without laughing yourself silly? To learn about the wacky world of evolution, write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556 and ask for a sample copy of our newsletter.


SEX IS HARD for the theory of evolution to explain. Why would simple organisms, which can reproduce all by themselves, evolve into creatures that need a mate? What is the advantage that sexual reproduction gives that results in a victory in the struggle for survival? How could male and female varieties evolve simultaneously? Why would the opposite sexes be drawn to each other? How would they know what to do once they found each other? It doesn't make much sense. It makes more sense to write for a free copy of our newsletter. Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


Did you know that since 1860, the "known" age of the Earth has doubled every 20 years? If you would like to discover other surprising scientific facts, write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. Box 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556-0923 and ask for a free copy of our newsletter.
Read some reaction to this ad.


MISSING LINKS WANTED by evolutionists. You can obtain fame and fortune by selling missing links (genuine or not) to evolutionists. Take a human skull, an ape's jaw, stain them to make them look old, and call them Cro-Magnon Man! With nothing more than a single pig's tooth and lots of imagination, you create Nebraska Man. Take some ape bones and human bones, claim they were found together, and you will have skeletal remains of Java Man and Peking Man, just like you find in the museums! Yes, you can make big money selling missing links to evolutionists, but you must act NOW! The theory of evolution is crumbling fast, so you must sell your phony artifacts while there is still time. For more information write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


DNA EVIDENCE FAILED to prove O.J. guilty. It also failed to prove evolution true. If evolution were true, one might expect the oldest, least developed forms of life to have the fewest chromosomes. It isn't too surprising that a worm has 2 chromosomes, and a mosquito has 6. Man has 46 chromosomes, so he is almost as highly developed as a potato, which has 48. Maybe some day man will evolve into a goldfish (94) or even a shrimp (254). Goldfish and shrimp are similar to the fossils found at the bottom of the geologic column, which evolutionists claim are the most primitive forms of life. The DNA evidence looks bad for evolution. To learn more incriminating evidence, write for one free copy of our newsletter. Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


EVERYONE KNOWS LIFE HAPPENS. Pinocchio and Frosty are documented cases. Although all experiments have failed to produce 12 of the 20 necessary amino acids from the postulated primordial soup, everyone who has been educated in an American public school knows that success in 8 cases proves that all 20 can form naturally by chance. Given a tide pool with all 20 amino acids, experiments have produced just 2 of the 4 necessary proteins necessary for life [please note correction by following this link.]. That's enough to claim success. Anyone with half a brain can see how all these chemicals can form a nucleus, cytoplasm, and cell membrane by chance. All that remains is to inject life into the cell. This is left as an exercise for the reader. (Hint: You need a dark and stormy night, a lightening rod, well-grounded slab, a deformed assistant, and a big switch.) This is the rock-solid foundation upon which the theory of evolution rests. If you are skeptical, write for a free copy of our newsletter. Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


ALCHEMISTS AND EVOLUTIONISTS aren't much different. Alchemists wanted to believe that it was possible to turn lead into gold. Although they claimed to be scientists, their greed made them reject scientific reality. Evolutionists want to believe that ammonia can turn itself into a living cell. They, too, reject scientific reality for personal reasons. But the 19th century theory of evolution is withering under the scrutiny of 20th century science. As we move toward the 21st century, scientific acceptance of evolution is dropping. Someday evolutionists will be as hard to find as alchemists. If you would like to learn more about the demise of evolution, write for a free sample copy of our newsletter. Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


A PIG'S TOOTH by any other name is Nebraska man. Evolutionists found a single tooth in Nebraska that seemed to be half way between a human tooth and an ape tooth. They claimed they had found conclusive proof of the missing link between ape and man. The tooth was later positively identified as a pig's tooth, but by this time textbooks were filled with artists' conceptions of Nebraska man, showing him to be a hairy ape-man with poor posture. All that was missing was the football. To find out more about Nebraska man, Java man, Cro-Magnon man, Neanderthal man, Lucy, and other missing links, write for one free copy of our newsletter. Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


TABLOID HEADLINES SAY shocking things like, "Lizard Born With Feathers", and "Bird Hatches From Lizard Egg". You wouldn't expect to read stories like these in scientific journals, but these are two popular explanations for how reptiles evolved into birds. If your inquiring mind wants more than tabloid science, write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556. Ask for a free copy of our newsletter.


EVOLUTIONISTS CLAIM that when reptiles evolved into mammals, three bones in their jaws moved to the side of their heads and became the hammer, anvil, and stirrup in the mammals' ears. If you believe that, I've got a newsletter I'd like to sell you. I'll even give you the first issue free. Just write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


WITH ENEMIES LIKE Stephen J. Gould, who needs friends? In his book Dinosaur in a Haystack, this champion of evolution poses an interesting variation of the chicken-and-egg problem. He notes that bees can't live without flowers, and flowers can't reproduce without bees. There are so many particular kinds of insects that are associated with particular flowers, it is as if they were made for each other. The theory of evolution says that insects and flowers must have evolved at the same time in a codependent relationship. Gould suggests that the way to test this hypothesis is to examine the fossil record and see if the increase in the number of species of insects correlates with the increase in the number of species of flowers. He reports that studies in 1993 found no correlation. Then he quotes a story in the May 23, 1995 edition of the New York Times that reports the discovery of a 220 million year old bee hive, which predates all flowers by 100 million years. Gould's lame explanation: "Perhaps bees first pollinated gymnosperms [cone-bearing woody plants without flowers], and therefore lived for most of their history in a world without flowers, and only much later developed an evolutionary relationship with newfangled angiosperms [flowering plants]." Perhaps you would like to develop a relationship with our newfangled newsletter. Write to us for a free sample issue. Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


CALL THE PSYCHIC EVOLUTIONIST FRIENDS NETWORK for the answers to life's mysteries. Ask how reptile jaws became mammal ears, cows became whales, and how bees lived for 100 million years before the first flower. (95¢/min. You must be 18. For entertainment only.) But if you prefer science to fantastic psychic speculation, write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556, and ask for one free copy of our newsletter.


SANTA CLAUS EXISTS! That's what you would believe if you believed the logic used by evolutionists to prove the theory of evolution. For a point by point comparison of the proof of Santa Claus and the proof of evolution, read The Santa Similarity in the December issue of Disclosure. For a free sample copy of our newsletter write to Science Against Evolution, BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


THE PANDA'S THUMB is claimed to be one of the most convincing pieces of evidence for evolution. Evolutionists say that God would not have given the panda such a poorly designed thumb, so it must have evolved. Their argument is based entirely on theology, not science. For a scientific (not religious) look at the evidence against evolution, write for a free sample copy of our newsletter. Science Against Evolution, P.O. Box 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


FRANKENCELL DRIFTED AIMLESSLY, a lifeless crouton in the primordial soup. This fortunate congregation of amino acids, proteins, and sugars (brought together by chance) was patiently waiting for a bolt of lightening to inject in it the spark of life--or toast it. Is this how life began? Find out on the fourth Friday of March (the 28th) when Science Against Evolution presents the video, "Is Life Just Chemistry?" Fourth Friday Free Films are shown the fourth Friday of every month at 7:30 PM in the Kern County Public Library. (The library closes at 6, so you must enter through the back door at the southwest corner of the building.)


NUMBER FIVE IS ALIVE! At least, that was the claim in the movie Short Circuit. Lightening struck robot number 5, bringing him to life. The scientists in the film thought he was simply malfunctioning, but life is not just a malfunction. Dr. Michael Girouard, M.D. tells the scientific reasons why life can't just happen by chance in the video, "Is Life Just Chemistry?" which will be shown at 7:30 PM, Friday, March 28, at the Kern County Public Library. Fourth Friday Free Films are sponsored by Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


"Q: WHY DO ELEPHANTS paint their toenails red? A: So they can hide in cherry trees. Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? A: No. Q: It works pretty well, doesn't it?" What does this old joke have to do with evolution? You would know if you subscribed to Disclosure. Write for a free sample copy. Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556.


SIZE DOESN'T MATTER! You can't tell how smart a man is by the size of his head. Gorillas have larger brains than chimps, but they aren't smarter. Evolutionists claim to know how smart extinct apes and people were by measuring the size of their skulls. That isn't smart. It is smarter to write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556, for a free copy of our newsletter.


THE MOON FALLS UP! The Apollo 11 astronauts left a laser reflector on the Moon which has allowed scientists on the ground to measure the distance between the Earth and the Moon very accurately. They discovered that the Moon gets 4 cm farther away from the Earth every year. Find out why, and what this means to the theory of evolution, in the current issue of Disclosure. Write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. BOX 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556 and ask for your free copy.


AT SONNY BONO'S funeral, Cher said that she once thought Mount Rushmore was a natural phenomenon. That got a big laugh because it is silly to think that the busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt, could have been formed by chance and natural processes. Isn't it even sillier to believe that those four presidents themselves were formed by natural processes? Write to Science Against Evolution, P.O. Box 923, Ridgecrest, CA 93556, for a free sample copy of our newsletter.

Quick links to
Science Against Evolution
Home page
Back issues of
Disclosure
(our newsletter)
Web Site
of the Month
Topical Index