Song Parody - April 2019
by Death Valley Dave

People Who Don’t Think

This is our annual celebration of National Theory of Evolution Day (April 1).

Our April issue is always light-hearted because humor is often a good way to present the truth. Humor is disarming. If you take an illogical idea and exaggerate it to an absurdly illogical conclusion, the fundamental flaw becomes obvious. If you make the exaggeration funny enough, it is memorable, too.


Take abiogenesis (the notion that life can arise spontaneously from non-living matter) for example. We have often noted that there are only two documented cases of abiogenesis: Pinocchio and Frosty the Snowman! The natural reaction for an evolutionist is to counter with, “That’s not true! There are lots of examples of non-living material coming to life. There’s … uh, … well, … just let me think for a minute, … There are just too many examples to name them all!”

Our video, Evolution for Intellectuals,1 starred Frankencell, the random collection of DNA, proteins, and amino acids which somehow got trapped inside a membrane and came to life without the aid of a mad doctor and his deformed assistant.

Evolutionists believe this happened because the Earth’s early atmosphere contained no oxygen, and was made up of methane and ammonia. If methane and ammonia can cause organic chemicals to come to life, why don’t new forms of life arise spontaneously in dirty diapers?

It is simply ridiculous. The key is, “simply.” Rather than trying to explain all the technical reasons why abiogenesis is impossible, the joke compels a thoughtful response. The goal is to get evolutionists to think about what they believe and why they believe it. The more they think, the less they will believe.

Students in American public schools are taught that Stanley Miller performed an experiment which showed how amino acids, the “building blocks of life,” form “naturally.” That depends on how you define, “naturally.” One could say automobiles form naturally because no magic, miracles, or supernatural powers are involved in their manufacture.

Natural forces are purposely manipulated to manufacture everything. Stanley Miller used a system of beakers and tubing and flames to force a particular brew of chemicals to manufacture amino acids “naturally.” His experiment involved a configuration which could not have happened accidentally. All the components of the experiment were connected on purpose, according to a design.

Evolutionists believe that Stanley Miller showed how life could arise spontaneously—but Miller didn’t believe he had. That’s why he spent the next five decades working on the problem.

I really admire Dr. Miller, and would have loved to have met him. There must have been some reason why he believed with all his heart that life arose by chance. He knew none of the naturalistic explanations for the origin of life could be true, so he spent his entire life searching for a valid scientific confirmation of his belief—and he failed to find it. That failure doesn’t mean his life was wasted. If someone so brilliant and dedicated, who wanted so earnestly to find scientific confirmation for his belief, could not find a plausible scenario for how life began accidentally, that scenario must not exist. 2

I respect Dr. Miller because he thought about the problem of how life began. On the other hand, people who don’t think, and just accept without question the assertion that life began accidentally in a warm pond billions of years ago, don’t deserve any respect at all.


People who don’t think, just accept the idea that a reptile evolved into a mammal despite the fact that there is no evidence that Boobzilla ever existed.

People who don’t think, simply accept the foolish notion that sweat glands evolved into mammary glands, and scales turned into hair. There really are people who believe that. Andy is one of them. He read it in a medical book, and didn’t question it. 3


People who don’t think, believe that plants just accidentally discovered how to change sunlight into fuel through photosynthesis. And, by some unbelievable coincidence, bees and plants evolved at the same time because bees need flowers and flowers need bees.

Where’s the Song Parody?

Regular readers know that the April newsletter typically includes a parody song in which I take a well-known song (like, “I Heard it Through the Grapevine”) and change the words to make fun of an evolutionary belief (like, “I Heard it Through my Jawbone”). I didn’t do that this year because those songs aren’t funny unless you know the original song.

Watching the Grammies the last few years, I only knew two or three out of all the nominated songs. I don’t know any popular songs well enough to make fun of them. Younger readers probably don’t know the old songs I know.

Since the style of music has changed so much in recent years, and I wanted to be relevant to our younger readers, I wrote this original song in modern pop-song style instead. Then I made a music video using images from Evolution for Intellectuals. 4

People Who Don't Think

Click this link to hear Death Valley Dave perform this song.. Watch the music video at or

Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think

(Verse 1)
People Who Don’t Think don’t question anything
People Who Don’t Think won’t go against the crowd
People Who Don’t Think don’t have any common sense

Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think

(Verse 2)
People Who Don’t Think won’t listen to both sides
People Who Don’t Think are afraid to learn the truth
People Who Don’t Think don’t question anything

Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think
Evolution is believed by People Who Don’t Think

Quick links to
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1 Disclosure, June 2009, “Evolution for Intellectuals”
2 Disclosure, June 2007, “Stanley Miller’s Final Word”
3 Disclosure, January 2002, “Sweating Milk”
4 The Evolution for Intellectuals video is at and and
The story behind Evolution for Intellectuals is at .